What Do You REALLY Want?

NOTE: This is adapted from my book, The Paradox of Success, available June 25 through Amazon. Knowing what you want is part of the larger journey of creating your own personal definition of success, which I scaffold you through in the book. If you'd like to read a free chapter, you can get it here:

It is important in your success journey to figure out what you really want - yet it can be surprisingly difficult to identify what you REALLY want. It might be more important to figure out what you NEED - and our wants can be a great clue to our needs by looking at wants and figuring out what needs are driving them.

So, if you think you know what you want - what is it? Then see what universal need might actually underlie that want. It might help you be even more clear about what you REALLY want.

Here is one list of such “universal” needs, according to the Center for Nonviolent Communication*:

The need for connection includes ideas like the need for acceptance, appreciation, community, empathy, inclusion, love, and nurturing. Safety and trust also fall into this need.

Physical Well-Being
This category includes the needs related to basic physical survival, like air, food, exercise, sleep, shelter, water, and (yes) touch.

Includes authenticity, integrity, and presence.

Includes joy and humour.

Includes appreciation of beauty, communion, ease, equality, harmony, inspiration, and order.

Includes choice, freedom, independence, space, and spontaneity.

Includes awareness, celebration of life, clarity, competence, consciousness, creativity, discovery, growth, hope, learning, participation, purpose, self-expression, understanding.

So, where do you stand on meeting these universal needs? If you can identify a need that isn't currently fulfilled, investigate how you can bring more of that into your life.

*The Center for Nonviolent Communication*.(https://www.cnvc.org/):
To refer to this appropriately they ask anyone to share this:
(c) 2005 by Center for Nonviolent Communication
Website: www.cnvc.org Email: cnvc@cnvc.org
Phone: +1.505-244-4041
Originally suggested in the book The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier

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